I was wrong about something.
I thought that the reason I struggle with being consistent online is because I don’t take my business seriously. I even made a video about it, publicly shaming myself for not realising it earlier! No compassion, just a whip over my shoulder.
Eventually, I decided to look closely at why I procrastinate and avoid putting myself out there. Why do I post consistently on social media for a couple of weeks and then stop?
The vulnerability hangover.
I felt exhausted after ‘exposing’ myself online. I felt tired from doing this extremely uncomfortable thing – recording a video and sharing it with others. On top of this there’s a problem with social media in general where all the posts are made for likes and comments – if you don’t have many of those you feel like a failure. Almost as if without the external validation your content doesn’t matter.
What happens next is the creeping voices from my childhood are coming to light: “People will laugh at you! How come you don’t know that? This could only happen to you!”
To quiet these voices, I decide to stay small. I hide. I procrastinate. I chose safety.
Until I feel frustrated that I am not living my full potential. And so the circle starts all over again: post and stop post and stop.
“One of the biggest mistaken beliefs we have in our society is that we feel that in order to be successful we can’t have any weaknesses. We actually learned this as children. It is often just implied in the background, either when we are being punished by a parent, scolded by a teacher, or even teased by our own friends. Either way, we learn that it’s not ok to have any kind of weaknesses.”
Coming to terms with the vulnerability hangover was a turning point for me.
I realised that my struggle to maintain consistency online was not solely due to a lack of seriousness or dedication, but rather a deeper emotional challenge.
The exhaustion and discomfort that followed each instance of putting myself out there, combined with the pressure for external validation, created a toxic cycle of hiding and procrastination. Recognising the voices from my past and the fear of being laughed at or deemed unworthy allowed me to understand why I chose safety over growth.
Moving forward, I am committed to breaking this cycle and embracing a more compassionate approach towards myself. Consistency will no longer be synonymous with self-judgment and external validation but rather an expression of my authentic self. I invite you to join me on this journey of self-discovery and empowerment, as we navigate the complexities of online presence and find the courage to shine our brightest.
