Stepping onto the entrepreneurial journey was new to me and it made me realise how much inner work there is to be done.
Although it is hard to put yourself out there and be vulnerable with your fears I believe that the only way to accept the fact that you deserve success is by looking at the parts of you you were neglecting for years.
The Inner Work
This little girl at some point in her early life started to hear messages like:
– How come you don’t know that? So she created the belief that it’s not ok to ask questions or reach out for help.
– It could only happen to you! So she created the belief that it’s not ok to make mistakes.
– Your sister is better at this. So she created the belief that she’s not good enough.
She would also be punished for ‘bad behavior’ with a silent treatment so eventually, she started to believe that everything was her fault even when her parents were going through a divorce and were not talking with each other.
I don’t blame her for becoming a perfectionist to cope with constant criticism and not-enoughness.
I don’t blame her that in order to survive she created a false identity and stopped expressing herself freely.
Add to that a few friends’ betrayals, and a broken heart as a very young teenager, and you would understand why she started to believe that the world is a scary place, and it is not safe to trust people.
If we don’t realise the early childhood traumas that are holding us back in adult life we will never truly thrive and will never authentically express ourselves. We will walk around with a wound and react to every situation as if it was about us.
If we don’t do the inner work, then running a business will always feel like a struggle.
We will be sabotaging our own success. We will be afraid of being judged. We will be inconsistent with putting ourselves out there because vulnerability exposes our deepest fears.
Becoming an entrepreneur was something new for me.
For as long as I was following the path given by my parents (finish school, go to work, obey the system) I didn’t have time to look closely at the pieces of me that I had hidden to protect myself from being rejected and hurt.
Only now I can see the glass ceiling I created a long time ago and by peeling the layers of my false identity I am slowly breaking through it.
I am not a victim of my childhood experiences. I am a creator. A capable entrepreneur acting from her heart. I may not be perfect, but I always have perfect intentions.